Friday, November 26, 2010

Rachel Brown, 1918 -- 2010

After I had written a number of blog posts, I printed them out and sent them to Mom. I phoned her for her reaction.

"They seem like a lonely person trying to have a conversation with someone."

Mom may not have known squat about social networking, but she was damn perceptive.

I decided to reactivate this blog after an absence of two years to let you know about my breast cancer. Maybe start a conversation or two, but more to keep you posted about my situation. As much as I'd like to send individual messages, I simply don't have the psychic energy to keep informing each of you of what is happening to me.

I am scheduled to have surgery this coming Monday and was planning to make my first blog afterward to update you on the results. However, on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, I received word that Mom had died.

Her death likely occurred sometime Wednesday evening, November 24. When I tried to call her on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, I didn't get an answer to my call about 11 a.m. her time. She had been talking about going out for a turkey day invitation, and I assumed that's where she was. But she didn't return my voice message request to call back. I phoned several more times until, finally, about 8 that evening, Bob called the Fort Morgan police and had them do a check on her apartment. No one called. I phoned again at 10:30 and the dispatcher said she would have the officer on patrol return my call. He never did. But, by then, I felt certain that she had died.

Early the following morning, I contacted John H., the senior housing authority director where she lived. He confirmed he had been called in by the police Wednesday evening about 9 to open her apartment, and they found her body. This is what he told me, "The TV was on and she had the remote in one hand and her other hand was resting on the chair arm. She had taken off her shoes and tucked her socks in them -- she was such a neat little thing. Her head lay back against the chair cushion and it just looked like she was sleeping."

As deaths go, it was the kind most of us would wish for.

I had debated long and hard about telling Mom about my cancer, and had finally decided I needed her to know because, once more in my life, I needed her strength to help me through a bad patch. I didn't want to spoil her Thanksgiving by telling her then, so had planned to do it on Sunday when we had our weekly phone visits. She never knew, and I am eternally grateful she did not die with that worry on her mind.

Please do not send flowers or plants. Your support and kind thoughts and prayers, however, are most heartily needed and appreciated.

Love to all.